Episode 13- Handle with Care: Do you struggle with White Fragility?

In this Episode, Stephanie and Donald look at the role of White fragility and how it causes well-meaning white folks from becoming fully engaged anti-racists.  Do you struggle with White Fragility? Take our handy quiz to find out!


 

Here is the self quiz by Ally Henny (available at her website https://thearmchaircommentary.com)

1. Do I feel defensive when a person of color says “white people?”

2. Do I feel angry when people tell me that I benefit from white privilege?

3. When a person of color talks about race, do I feel defensive because they’re describing things that I do or think as racist?

4. Do I feel angry or annoyed by the above questions?

5. Do I have a history of embracing or growing up in racism that I feel ashamed of and so I need to show people that I’m not racist anymore?

6. Does saying “Not all white people” or similar phrases make me feel better when someone calls white people out for something?

7. Do I expect an apology when I feel like I’ve been unfairly accused of racism?

8. Do I feel better when I say, hear, or read, “It’s okay to be white?”

9. Do I try to convince people of color that they’re wrong about racism by pointing out people from their racial group who agree with me?

10. Do I feel the need to talk about how hard my ancestors had it when they immigrated, or explain my own hardships when a person of color talks about being oppressed?

11. Do I think that racism would go away if people stopped talking about it?

12. Does being told that something I say, think, do, or otherwise value is racist make me want to shut down, leave, or express my discomfort/displeasure in some way?

13. Do I feel the need to state that I have friends/family who are people of color when someone accuses me of racism?

14. Do I feel the need to prove that I’m not racist?

15. Do I feel that my opinions and perspectives about race should be given equal weight to that of a person of color, that I have something unique and important to contribute to the race conversation, and/or that it is unfair to be told to listen more than I speak?

16. Do I feel the need to defend myself on any of the above points in the comment section?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are dealing with white fragility. Take time to reflect on why you feel the way that you do. Take time to listen to different perspectives.

If we cannot talk honestly about the issues, then we cannot make progress.

*White Fragility, as defined by DiAngelo, is the result of white racial socialization. A state in which even a minimum amount of racial stress becomes intolerable, triggering a range of defensive moves. These moves include the outward display of emotions such as anger, fear, guilt, and behaviors such and as argumentation, silence, and leaving the stress-inducing situation. These behaviors, in turn, function to reinstate white racial comfort and status quo.

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Twitter: thearmchaircom

Instagram: allyhenny

Episode 12- Cultural Appropriation: What Halloween Costumes NOT to Wear

With Halloween coming up, choices in costumes can go from creative to culturally insensitive (or, racist) very quickly.  In this Episode, Stephanie and Donald talk about Cultural Appropriation, how it differs from Cultural Appreciation, and how you shouldn’t just wear any costume you want.

Other resources:

Book: Everything But the Burden- What white people are taking from Black Culture (Greg Tate)

https://www.seventeen.com/celebrity/g22363821/cultural-appropriation-examples-celebrities/

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/fashion/cultural-appropriation-appreciation-difference-meaning-fashion-examples-chinese-prom-dress-a8332176.html 

https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/magazine/7-ways-of-honoring-other-cultures-that-are-really-just-cultural-appropriation/ 

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/10/23/halloween-cultural-appropriation-questions/780479001/ 

https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/cultural-appropriation-wrong/ 

https://www.bustle.com/p/7-things-you-might-not-realize-are-cultural-appropriation-that-are-60679

http://www.mtv.com/news/2891156/stolen-language-the-strange-case-of-meghan-trainors-blaccent/

Episode 11- How to Talk About Race with Conservative Family Members

Talking politics with family-  how do you go about having these convos without it erupting into an epic family fight?  We found advice from several sources to help you develop a game plan to have these difficult conversations with your loved ones in a positive and constructive way.



Dos and Don'ts when talking Politics with Family (click the image for larger version):

The Women's March Daring Discussions Toolkit:

http://daringdiscussions.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Daring-Discussions_Tool-Kit.pdf

When all else fails, here are some turkey jokes:

Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church? 
A: They use FOWL language. 

Q: What happened when the turkey got into a fight? 
A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him! 

Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? 
A: A turkey that can pluck itself! 

Q: What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? 
A: Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all. 

Q: Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? 
A: A turkey because it is always stuffed. 

Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band? 
A: Because he had the drumsticks 

Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? 
A: "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!" 

Q: What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? 
A: God save the kin. 

Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? 
A: The outside 

Q: Why did the police arrest the turkey? 
A: They suspected it of fowl play 

Q: What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? 
A: The turKEY 

Q: What did the turkey say before it was roasted? 
A: Boy! I'm stuffed! 

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/turkeyjokes.html

Sources:

https://www.vox.com/first-person/2017/8/22/16171270/partisanship-politics-discussion-family

http://theconversation.com/how-to-talk-about-politics-with-your-family-92776

https://qz.com/quartzy/1135399/thanksgiving-how-to-constructively-talk-politics-with-your-family/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2015/11/24/how-to-talk-to-your-family-about-politics-this-thanksgiving/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.cb36c547ace7

https://www.rewire.org/love/agree-talk-politics/

Episode 10- Experienced: The Train Station Incident and What is a Hate Crime?

While the concept of a hate crime is well developed in Canada, the consequences for perpetrating one are not.  In this episode, Stephanie shares her experience as victim of a racially motivated assault, and then we discuss the problems with the Criminal Code of Canada in addressing hate crimes.

 

Resources referenced in the episode:

The Criminal Code of Canada
CTV News Article: What Counts as a Hate Crime in Canada?
Stats Canada Hate Crime Statistics
CBC Article: Reported Hate Crimes on the Rise in Toronto and Police Awareness may play a role
Global News Article: Alberta and Edmonton See Highest Rise in Hate Crimes in Canada

Episode 9- Raising Multiracial Children

In this episode, Stephanie and her guest Sajah discuss the complexities of raising multiracial children who celebrate their full identities.  They also provide strategies for parents to consider as they navigate the task of raising confident children.



Media/ Articles referenced in this episode:

• "Mixie Me" article in Toronto Life Magazine
• Metro Newspaper blog post "For the love of God stop telling mixed race couples their kids will be cute"
• CBC News article "Talking to my kids about being mixed race"
• Bustle post "18 things Mixed race girls are very tired of people saying to them"

Strategies for Raising Well-Adjusted/ Well-Rounded Multiracial children:

• Reject the myths of multiracial people:  the confused mixed race person;
• Teach your kids to talk about skin color/ race (https://www.momjunction.com/articles/tips-to-raise-your-biracial-child_00357927/#gref)
• Celebrate your child’s multiracial heritage  (http://www.cbc.ca/parents/learning/view/talking-to-my-kids-about-being-mixed-race)
• Live in a diverse neighborhood
• Have kids attend a school with a diverse population
• Have kids participate in activities that promote cultural diversity (https://www.thoughtco.com/raising-well-adjusted-biracial-children-2834779)
  
  

Episode 8- Multiracial Myths

In this episode Stephanie and Donald discuss some of the myths that have developed about being multiracial in North America and (bunk) theories about why multiracial people have a hard time fitting in.  (They don’t.)




Media references in the episode:

•         Poem by Langston Hughes, "Cross"
• An article on racial identity in Multiracial people from Thought Co.
• Adrian Piper “Passing for White, Passing for Black” 
• Article on the "Tragic Mulatto" Myth
• Article on Multiracial people from Toronto Life
• Globe and Mail article about mixed race people in the Canada Census
• Article "We are starting to just begin our ancient ancestors"

Terms for multiracial people that are offensive and dated:

• “mulatto”
• hexadecaroon (⅙ black)
• quadroon (¼ black)
• “octoroon” (⅛ black)
• quintoon (1/16 black) 
• “half and half”
• “brownie”
• “colored”
• “dusky”
• “Half-breed”
• “half-black/ half-white”
• “high-yellow”
• “hybrid”
• “mixed blood”
• “no nation”
• “pick n’ mix”
• “quarter caste” (one mono race and one mixed race parent)
• “checkerboard
• “grey”(http://www.mix-d.org/files/resources/Terminology_Chart_09.pdf) 

Terms you can use:

• multiracial
• multi-heritage
• mixed parentage
• mixed heritage
• multiple heritage
  

Episode 7- The "N-Word": Yes, that N-Word

In this episode, Stephanie and her guest Dayle, talk about the “n-word,” the complex relationship that black people have with it and why white people should not say it. Ever.



(Warning: The sources listed below do use the "n-word" even though we don't use it in the episode.)

Here is the media referenced today:

• Here's a great multimedia feature on the "N-Word" by the Washington Post

• Neal A. Lester's article "Straight talk about the "N-Word"

• Blog post on The Undefeated "if you truly knew what the n-word meant to our ancestors, you'd never use it"

• Ta-Nehisi Coates article in the New York Times, "In defence of a loaded word"

• Medium.com article, "the only time white people can say the n-word."

 

This is an advertisement for tobacco from Nigger Hair Smoking Tobacco that was first manufactured by the Milwaukee, Wisconsin-based B. Leidersdorf Company in 1878. According to the company the product was named after "its distinctive, curly Long Cut strands". The product was sold at economic prices and packaged in metal tins with "the head of a negro surmounted with a copious crop of wool, and having a large ring pending from the nose and another from the ear" stamped on the front. Early advertisements for Nigger Hair bore the tagline "Always be a good boy and smoke B. Leidersdorf and Co.'s Nigger Hair".  (Source)

And Then There Were None is a mystery novel by English writer Agatha Christie, her best selling novel and described by her as the most difficult of her books to write. It was first published in the United Kingdom by the Collins Crime Club on 6 November 1939, as Ten Little Niggers, after the British blackface song, which serves as a major plot point. (Source)








The pictured license was not issued by the state of Missouri, nor did it provide the holder the legal right to hunt and kill African-Americans. It was a real piece of racist memorabilia (but actually artificially aged), one which was reportedly sold at an annual party thrown by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (ATF) called “The Good Ol’ Boys Roundup” in 1995.  They were not. Although the hunting licenses may not have been sold at the Good Ol’ Boys Roundup, nor were they legal documents issued by the state of Missouri, these pieces of racist memorabilia really do exist, and some online stores still sell “federal nigger hunting licenses." (Source)